Recent events in my own life have made me realize that when we blame others for letting us down, or disappointing us in any way, we have already placed our happiness in someone else’s hands.

In youth, it is inevitable to place blame on others for discontent because we haven’t matured enough to know any better.

By the time we have become adults with responsibilities, full time jobs, families, community involvement, we should be able to understand that happiness within is generated by thinking outside of yourself. Don’t confuse disappointment with unrealistic expectation.

In conclusion, my intentions for 2022 include moving forward with sincerity, hope, a peaceful countenance, with no expectation of return on investment. By doing so, disappointment is replaced by peace of mind. 🌎 ✌

The most profound statement is made with your silence, not your vocabulary.

As I sit in our beautiful back yard on a sunny Sunday morning, birds chirping in unison, summer blooms full, colors glorious, it occurs to me that I don’t take enough time to appreciate being present in the moment.

We are mindful of feeding our bodies properly, keeping healthy, maintaining fitness. What about feeding our souls with that same mindfulness?

Sure, some folks attend Sunday service, belong to prayer groups, read scripture, and that’s just fine. Some find solace in these practices. (Having been raised Catholic, I am familiar with the rituals.) If you are nourishing your soul, I believe that God is ok with wherever we do so, and with the tools He has provided.

My husband, dad, and in laws are at Mass as write this in our lovely backyard. I hope they are experiencing the same peace I am, in this moment, being present.

It seems to me that we’re constantly hearing the phrase, seeing hashtags proclaiming, “Living my best life”, accompanied by frameworthy selfies with ethereal lighting edits. That’s great! We should be living our “best lives” and owning our choices. But the practices we engage to reach our goals are diverse and deeply personal. Perhaps not photo worthy, much less frameable.

The goals for a fat woman include, (but are not limited to), losing weight, increasing confidence, getting/staying healthy, and taking control of habits. We seek to take back what we’ve given away for lack of self awareness. Our fast paced lives and responsibilities to family and work put our self care on hold. Basically, we forget ourselves.

On the road to reinventing healthier lifestyles for ourselves, the body reaps obvious benefits of good nutrition and exercise. Great skin, healthier looking hair, weight loss, muscle gain……who wouldn’t want a great photo to showcase such achievement? All great, really. But this is only part of your Gen X, I just turned 50, enlightenment.

Digging deeper than the skin, most of us would agree that we’ve evolved intellectually as we’ve aged. (I hope I have.) Our life experiences have influenced us and challenged our taught beliefs. Although cliche, age truly does bring wisdom. We should be as proud of the cerebral growth as much as the weight loss. But how does one photograph that? I want a selfie that represents ideological ego.

It’s uplifting and satisfying to be complimented for appearance. Work put in is evident and deserves kudos. But do we ever recognize intellectual growth in others as a norm? Wouldn’t it be refreshing to hear something like, “Hey T, you look good. Finally living better? Good for you! Also, you’re not the a..hole you once were. Way to evolve! Want to grab a kale smoothie and lick walls in a salt cave, after yoga at dawn on the beach?”………All great photo opportunities to highlight “Living our Best Lives”.

Our journies through life are uniquely individual and personal. Journal it in your own way, with photos, hashtags, and sound bites. Then, put your device down and engage in the activities you’ve posed for.

   It’s almost here. Mother’s day, next weekend, May 9th. One week away. A day I never imagined that I would dread.

We all experience loss in our lives. It is simply an inevitable part of our human experience, part of life that we must deal with. No choice but to accept and move forward. But some losses carry a weight heavier than words can rightly describe.

January 14, 2021, Joanne Helen O’Neil McLarney left this world. Her time had come. Only 71 years old. Mom had suffered some challenging medical issues during her earthly tenure. Anyone who truly knew her would agree that her resilience and strength was unwavering. Mom was always concerned about her family. She would want us to be happy, remembering her with love and laughter.

Until I lost my mother, feelings of emptiness had never felt so raw and real. Although we are comforted knowing that she’s no longer in pain, the void is palpable. I find myself dreading the “firsts” without her. The first Mother’s day without her will be the hardest yet.

We are reminded to love and cherish our families, particularly our moms, while we have each other. Tomorrow is not promised, as we know. If we’re lucky, we have a wealth of memories to reflect upon.

I carry my mother’s memory in my heart. Her voice, her embrace, her smile, her wisdom, her love cannot be replaced or duplicated. But it can be memorialized and honored.

As time surges forward and forces us to move on, I hope to carry myself with half as much dignity as she did. We had a combative relationship. We challenged each other. We angered each other. But somehow, we understood each other as no one else could.

This mother’s day, I urge those of you who are lucky enough to still have your mom, to spoil them. Not necessarily with gifts, but with your time. Spend the whole day with her. Enjoy a meal, share stories, laugh. Be present in her life. That’s what any mom really wants. We can buy ourselves flowers and perfume. But we cannot buy time.

Who doesn’t love a good top ten?

Top ten best things about social distancing:

1. People are stupid.
2. I hate people.(see # 1)
3. No awkward “bring it in” moments.
4. Spending more time with my dog.
5. Taking more walks, with my dog.
6. I love my dog. (see numbers 1 and 2)
7. No need to cancel plans. The “Rona” took care of that.
8. Day drinking is acceptable. (Expected if it’s Saturday.)
9. Grocery shopping has become an exercise is survival skills.
10. Realizing what, where, and (most importantly) who we miss. Let this time be filled with self realization and growth, so that when it’s over, we are better for having lived through it.

Truths every teenager need to wrap their head around:

1. Right now, you probably have hundreds of “friends” on social media. You can count the real ones on one hand. ✋ This becomes clearer as you mature.
2. Surround yourself with goal oriented people.
3. You can disagree with someone without being an asshole.
4. Spelling and punctuation matter.
5. Real music moves your soul, not just your booty. 🎶
6. Don’t give up on your dreams. Ever.
7. Your parents aren’t perfect, neither are you. Their mistakes are not yours, and your mistakes shouldn’t become their burden.
8. Take care of your body, mind, and soul. Exercise, read, meditate. Praise the wonders of nature. Everyday.
9. Laugh. Often. Loudly.
10. Always seek good in people, places, and seemingly hopeless situations. Even if no one else does.
11. Love yourself. Unconditionally. Then, give that love away to someone who needs it.
12. Be gracious. Always.

Why is it that people notice, and comment on appearances; weight gain/loss, hair cut, new clothes, etc… , yet no one ever acknowledges intellectual or emotional growth? We’re told, “you look great”, or behind your back, “she blew up”. How about, “you’ve opened your mind”, or you’ve helped me see things differently”.
It takes no special skill to be either fat or thin. But it takes real grit to be a decent human.

The sun is shining

In this moment, I rejoice

Darkness shall retreat

Why am I sweating?

It’s February and cold.

Lose some weight, fatty.